THE GREAT PYRENEES
(Author unknown)
1. There is no difference between your Great Pyrenees and a spouse or significant other. That cute ball of fluff heard what you said, knows what you want and still doesn't care. If you had great plans for obedience, pack them in now. These dogs suck at obedience. The old joke is "You call a Lab, they will come to you. You call a Pyr and they will take a message and get back to you later!"
2. You must really enjoy national monuments. You are probably wondering what this has to do with a Great Pyrenees puppy. Simple: you will have fluffy hair bunnies in your home big enough to name and have Congress declare a national monument. We all do. There isn't a Dyson in production that can defeat a Great Pyrenees in full shed mode. If you plan to be featured in Architectural Digest, pass on these.
3. Barking is not optional. Your home is infested with imaginary monsters that only they can see. They must be barked at. The fact that you are alive is a testament to their skill at keeping the monsters at bay. Only their barking saved your life. Plan accordingly. If you have neighbors within 10 feet, think twice.
4. These are not white retrievers, no matter what the morons selling them on the Internets say. Or Oprah and her white retrievers.* These dogs will retrieve nothing. If you throw a ball, they will look at you like you are a moron and they won't reward your bad behavior by retrieving the ball only to see you throw it away again. They think golden retrievers are stupid and enablers. If you want a Frisbee catcher or ball chaser, get another dog.
5. They are not "gentle giants" that love all kids any more than all people are automatically a great parent. My Pyr loathes small squeely children. It is true that they are generally good with kids, but not all dogs love them. They are also NOT gentle as puppies and they have strength, size and power to knock over your little darling. Don't get a giant breed if you aren't prepared to handle their giant antics with your kids. If you want your toddler to not be knocked over, get an adult dog.
6. These dogs cannot be controlled on an electric/invisible fence and they will not respect your property line stakes as their boundary. A Great Pyrenees without a fence is like Lindsay Lohan at a bar without a chaperone. Neither is safe. An electric fence is not going to work so don't ask. If it's not 5 feet of real fencing, you don't have a fence
7. If you are looking for a off-leash companion to frolic in the meadow or on the beach with you forget it. a) A Pyr off leash is a DisaPyr, and b) see #1. Get a Golden retriever.
8. If you have prize-winning flowers, prepare for the flower bed to look like the back 9 at Augusta as Pyrs love to dig bunkers. It is well known that the Bay of Biscay on the southern coast of France was dug by Pyrs and the Pyrenees Mountains are the resulting dirt pile.
9. They are the Lays Potato Chips of the dog world. You can't have just one

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